
=============================================
Aapke shahar ka har mausam suhana lage, Ek shaam chura loon aapki agar bura na lage, Aap chahe bhula de hume ek pal me hi, Aapko bhulane me shayad hume jamana lage.
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Aapne dushman se hi dil laga baithe Unki Saadgi se fareb kha baithe Pattharon se tha Apna rishtaa.. Phir bhi Shishe ka Ghar bana baithe
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Zindagi kisiki mohataz nahi hoti, Dosti sirf jazbaat nahi hoti, Kuch to khayal aaya hoga khuda ko, Warna yuhi aapki humse mulaqat nahi hoti.
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Andhere me rasta banana mushkil hota hai. Tufan mein deepak jalana mushkil hota hai. DOSTI kisi se bhi kar lena mushkil nahi, Ise bas nibhana mushkil hota hai..
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HUMOROUS HRD NOTICE Of A COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES
[A circular was found in one of the office notice boards]
Dear STAFF,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
1) TRANSPORTATION:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
2) ANNUAL LEAVE:
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year (Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.
3) LUNCH BREAK:
a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
4) SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
5) TOILET USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders” category.
d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.
6) SURGERY:
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
7) INTERNET USAGE:
All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges
will be deducted from your salary.
– Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection. Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.Best regards,
HRD
|
Time To LAUGH |
Few interesting thing which you can download and user for you java- mobile
absolutely free
Earth-The Globe:
The application starts up displaying a globe representing the planet on
the screen of your mobile
http://www.getjar.com/products/6172/WayfinerEarthBeta
Email Reader- Gmail, Yahoo!, Hotmail, AOL:
FREE Mobile Email and RSS. The fully featured version is completely
free–no time limit. Supports Gmail, Yahoo!, Hotmail, AOL and all POP3
and IMAP services.
http://www.getjar.com/products/3916/flurry
Instant Messenger – MSN
Free! QuickIM Mobile Instant Messenger for Java Phones, MSN Compatible
http://www.getjar.com/products/1915/FreeQuickIMMobileInstantMessengerforJavaPhonesMSNCompatible
Opera Mini Browser:
Opera Mini™ is a fast and tiny Web browser, that allows you
to access the full Internet on your phone.
http://www.getjar.com/products/3334/OperaMini
Enjoy!
To hide :
You can fix that by editing a Registry Key.( default speed of the Start Menu is pretty slow)
Open the Registry Editor and follow the key:
HKEY_CURRENT_USER \ Control Panel \ Desktop \ MenuShowDelay
By default, the value is 400. Change this to a smaller value, such as 0, to speed it up.
<p>Open your registry and find the key below.Create a new DWORD value for each restriction required according to the table below. Set the value to equal “1″ to enable the restriction or “0″ to disable it.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>NoAddRemovePrograms</strong> – Disable Add/Remove Programs</li>
<li><strong>NoRemovePage</strong> – Disable Change and Remove Programs</li>
<li><strong>NoAddPage</strong> – Disable Add Programs</li>
<li><strong>NoWindowsSetupPage</strong> – Disable Windows Components Wizard</li>
<li><strong>NoAddFromCDorFloppy</strong> – Hide “Add a program from CD-ROM or disk” option</li>
<li><strong>NoAddFromInternet</strong> – Hide “Add programs from Microsoft” option</li>
<li><strong>NoAddFromNetwork</strong> – Hide “Add programs from your network” option</li>
<li><strong>NoServices</strong> – Go directly to Windows Components Wizard</li>
<li><strong>NoSupportInfo</strong> – Disable Support Information</li>
</ul>